These days I feel so blue. I often think of my late father that passed away 17 years ago.
I miss him so much and want to see him in my dream if God allows.
I remember when I was a kid my father is the one who pushed me to study multiplication. I was lazy at that time and pretended to sleep. My father is the one who taught me to play chess and many times I defeated one of his friends in chess when he came to our house.
My father is the one who give me a ride on his bicycle to look for missing tricycles. And he often bought me 'soto daging' to eat.
When I was studying at University in Surabaya my father came to Surabaya to give me money IDR 90,000 per month for my expenses to rent a room, transportation, etc. We always met at a restaurant in front of STTS University Surabaya. I remember I alwasy ate nasi rames with daging bali there. After giving money he will take metro mini to Bratang terminal and take bus from Pulo Gadung to go back to Kediri.
When I was having KKN (Kuliah Kerja Nyata) in one of vilages in Madiun. I rode my motorcycle with him from Surabaya to Madiun. I think he worried if something would happen to me so he accompanied me from Surabaya to Madiun.
When I was working in Jakarta, he already got sick of lung cancer. Once he was admitted to a hospital Bhayangkara and I visited him. He hugged me and I know that he cried. It is a rare thing that my father hugged me. In our family we usually don't show affection openly to each other. But I am not that sensitive back then. As a young person I think much of my work which I regretted right now. If only I can return the moment I may just resign from my work and accompany him in Kediri.
I lost a lot of moments with my Dad, even when he passed away I was still working in a stupid project in Jakarta.
Now I just realized that we should appreciate the time we can spend with family, even though it may be boring.
Now I am trying to spend more time with my kid and my wife. Life is just short. Someday I will be gone and my grandchildren may not know me. All of use will vanish one day. This is life.
I just want to say to my father that I love him and I want to hug him back.
